In response to Tom’s question today ...
Yes, I have looked at NLP. I am not formally trained but have read a lot and practiced it for myself, and life coaching is based on this so I do use it in my work with every client. It is/would be something I'm interested in anyway, as psychology was my start into this work and was always an interest. Unsure why you ask the question you do, but I can guess what you mean. I believe that using our mind and body (soul too!) then yes, if we WANT to do something badly enough we can achieve it.
NLP for me though in simple terms, is how mind & body work together -it's a natural behaviour/ tendency human beings have. It's how we normally function - we see something*, want it and decide to try for it. Then during the process of trying for it, we have to decide how much we really want it - face and overcome obstacles etc, commit to the path, waver and get back on track etc. or if we realise it really isn’t what we want after all, so we can stop chasing it. As a life coach I help people clarify their objectives, goals/aims in life and only then can people start to work towards those goals. Not without wavering, but being able to pull round again after setbacks, doubts and feeling overwhelmed or inadequate perhaps!
Life coaching helps, too, where there are barriers to overcome and manage – self-esteem and the past reasons it can hold us back; opportunity* coming along and being ready to take it i.e. knowing what you want so you can jump at the chance. Our culture and environment, too, can influence the idea or belief that we can have what we want. For example, if you have never experienced something at all, you cannot know it exists and therefore you can’t aim for it!
A psychological concept of language was something like this that fascinated me – does language ability and expanse limit the imagination (dreams, hopes, wishes) or does imagination and dreams limit language?
I found this really exciting! However, since then, I have experienced and considered it – and ICT world is a key example of this. Imagination first, language second – as with science too, where experience (discoveries of new planets, new processes and new elements perhaps) all called for new ‘descriptions; and ‘labels’.
However, if people have never heard of a place or a job, or a lifestyle, how can they set that as their goal?
And without a goal, there are no steps to take.
“If you don’t know where you’re going, you might end up somewhere else” is an relevant quote here perhaps!
So yes, we can and should create opportunities, look for things that expand our knowledge and experience, and hence develop ongoing, new goals and objectives to strive for. As animals, as humans, we continually strive to grow, develop, learn and reach our ultimate goal of ‘self actualisation’ – being our true self, living the life we really are meant to live.
But you cannot create something (opportunity) without first having the idea that there is something there – imagination, projection one experience further and further like scientists do. In business, you get a feeling or an idea and you develop it – forever trying something else, something new, to make it work.
The problem with depression and anxiety in this credit crunch is that loss of direction, loss of hope and loss of light at the end of an endless tunnel of stress, worry and drudgery for some. If people have hope then they will strive towards a new light all the time and that’s what people need to find now, for themselves.
But generally people do need help to do that – a life coach can help! J
Career coaching is my focus this year because really, I’ve found, that is what I can do and want to do – explore people’s potential with them, help them showcase what they have and believe in what they can do and be. From deciding what job you want, finding out how to get it, working through the applications and rejections, and then step by step moving towards that goal – like any other goal (business, sales, exams, family life, relationships) people – anyone – can do it. But what they need is self belief, encouragement (they cant do it alone), a sounding board for their ideas and sharing other people’s experience for new ideas. Then they can create the opportunities! Then they can dream the dream, hope and grow, learn and strive towards their potential – if they choose to!
There has to be an element of choice – even with NLP (see I didn't digress really!). It is a tendency we use (booking holidays, choosing cars, working to our values and beliefs, our natural tendencies like jumping in or stepping back and carefully considering the problems/solutions first). Knowing ourselves therefore is key to being ourselves!
This is the basis of my work – one to one coaching or the workshops too. We can each work on our own if we know what we are working on and why!
My first workshop is this Friday 15th February 2-4 pm Fly your own Flag – CVs and interviews, selling yourself and your best attributes, holding nothing back but without bragging or boasting – just showcasing what you have to offer! This build self esteem, confidence, opportunity, assertiveness.
My next workshop is Networking Confidence on Friday 1st March 2-4 pm at the office – as it says, tips and techniques on how to network comfortably and effectively! So many people hate it, are shy or uncertain yet know it’s a key part of their business management, marketing and sales strategy!
They both use NLP concepts and techniques, they both involve self-awareness and all my workshops will use NLP, psychology, coaching techniques and counselling anxieties and self concepts for example.
So yes, in essence, I do believe anyone can do anything ‘they choose to do’ with resilience, experience, personal development ongoing and learning, and the desire to get to their chosen goal which fits their values, belief and culture systems, the ability to fight on and their interest and passion in their ultimate goal!
Things change as we move through life, though, too, and other people or situations can temporarily hold us back - that's part of the resilience building and partly how much do you really want to reach that goal you set? It might change as you progress!